Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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