nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize