that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize