bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
