there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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