so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
