so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
