So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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