I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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