I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
