Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
