Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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