I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So much Jack, so little girl.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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