I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
