On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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