btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
