so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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