the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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