You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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