chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
