dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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