he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
