Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away. http://tfl.nu/p1dq
  Replies (20) Good night (2926) Bad night (3879)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs? http://tfl.nu/a2dd
  Replies (38) Good night (2218) Bad night (3462)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out. http://tfl.nu/8l4x
  Replies (19) Good night (4512) Bad night (1290)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night. http://tfl.nu/12y8
  Replies (9) Good night (5954) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here. http://tfl.nu/f99e
  Replies (19) Good night (1429) Bad night (5313)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?" http://tfl.nu/tcpf
  Replies (26) Good night (3247) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups http://tfl.nu/8ph5
  Replies (13) Good night (6205) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night http://tfl.nu/495y
  Replies (7) Good night (1795) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes. http://tfl.nu/gyak
  Replies (8) Good night (3463) Bad night (1420)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success. http://tfl.nu/qxy1
  Replies (8) Good night (3293) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her http://tfl.nu/rw3c
  Replies (8) Good night (2322) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying http://tfl.nu/dqm7
  Replies (6) Good night (501) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me http://tfl.nu/sziw
  Replies (5) Good night (1656) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday http://tfl.nu/yy5w
  Replies (8) Good night (1112) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night. http://tfl.nu/dy0t
  Replies (4) Good night (586) Bad night (341)

Randomize