We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.