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well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
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