Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people

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  (818): to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people http://tfl.nu/ib6w
  Replies (23) Good night (3867) Bad night (823)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....

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  (985): he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say.... http://tfl.nu/7igc
  Replies (41) Good night (1168) Bad night (2958)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.

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  (808): You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone. http://tfl.nu/k63s
  Replies (8) Good night (1218) Bad night (5355)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.

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  (978): she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head. http://tfl.nu/uhfs
  Replies (7) Good night (4429) Bad night (1096)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can

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  (401): well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can http://tfl.nu/8xnn
  Replies (18) Good night (3035) Bad night (1989)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever

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  (503): There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever http://tfl.nu/502h
  Replies (3) Good night (3676) Bad night (1654)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?

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  (713): Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order? http://tfl.nu/nfxj
  Replies (2) Good night (2826) Bad night (1013)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.

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  (443): When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain. http://tfl.nu/mvaw
  Replies (6) Good night (2277) Bad night (981)
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  (805): View more from California

  Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.

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  (805): Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea. http://tfl.nu/87ng
  Replies (6) Good night (850) Bad night (1731)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey

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  (717): apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey http://tfl.nu/5avv
  Replies (4) Good night (1925) Bad night (1048)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  im sober

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive

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  (815): im sober (920): you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive http://tfl.nu/hm58
  Replies (3) Good night (2462) Bad night (608)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.

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  (406): sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of. http://tfl.nu/ki5k
  Replies (5) Good night (1609) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?

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  (203): If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/eshu
  Replies (12) Good night (1046) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*

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  (306): just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm* http://tfl.nu/auxk
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?

  (716): View more from New York

  By the way, you're banned for life.

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  (716): HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR? (716): By the way, you're banned for life. http://tfl.nu/8d5l
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (333)

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