I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Hippo gnu deer
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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