I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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