he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
