Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
