omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
