Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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