she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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