Even the bartender felt bad for me
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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