i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
