Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
