I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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