Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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