I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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