How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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