i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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