Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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