You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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