my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
