When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
