you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
