Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
