I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
