This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
