so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
