Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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