Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
