I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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