We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
