I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
