love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
