Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so let's talk penis.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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