i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
In other news, I just burned my penis
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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