thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
