this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
