So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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