i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
this is an emotional support booty call
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
