I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
