Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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